October 15th, 2007 by thewhackedupworld
DENIAL: I’m too young to die. I’m not ready to die (is anyone ever really ready?). You don’t just get up some morning and say, "Well, I’m ready to die today". Even when a physician informs one that nothing can be done for them the feeling that some mistake must have been made is in the dying person’s mind. The prediction from ones physician of imminent death can do several things. It can give you time to prepare, take care of business, close doors, make amends. The shock begins to ebb as you come to grips with approaching death.
ANGER: Suddenly you are not in control of your life, or death. You have no choice……you are going to die. You have always known this, no one has come out and stated it as a fact before. It makes you angry, you feel so helpless especially at first, then guilt climbs upon your back Anger is directed at everyone and no one in particular. It is a sense of loss of control which is likely not a new feeling if you have endured a long illness. It is normal. Anger is in its own, a sense of strength. It can also be debilitating.
BARGAINING: You are willing now to compromise. No use denying it, anger comes and goes so perhaps you can make a deal with God! You are willing to promise to do or not to do specific things if only you can be given more time. It can be based on an upcoming event that is important to you. You can be suffering from insecurities regarding a member of your family or a loved one who you feel is yet dependent on you. There can be a rift that has never been eliminated that needs to be further addressed. You are not free to go until these reasons can be alleviated once and for all. You are hoping yet and eager to deal!
DEPRESSION: This is such a normal part of the process of preparing to die. You are already depressed about your incapability’s in dealing with responsibility, projects and the situation of every day life. Symptoms of terminal illness are impossible to ignore. You are fully aware that death is inevitable. Aware, angry and filled with sorrow and here again the culprit of guilt sneaks in as you mourn for yourself and the pain that this is causing you family and loved ones. Another totally NORMAL phase.
ACCEPTANCE: This comes after you work though the numerous conflicts and feelings that death brings. You can succumb to the inevitable as you become more tired and weakness hangs on. You become less emotional, calmness arrives and banishes fear along with joy or sadness. You realize the battle is almost over and now it’s really alright for you to die.
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July 28th, 2007 by thewhackedupworld
Why is it when people want someone to look happy they immediately say think of your boyfriend?
That was so stupid!!!!
Went for ad casting and a test shot all last week.That was when I realised that people think that thinking about ones Bf or gf would make them happy.I mean when I was at the ad casting I was suppose to look happy and contented.I was like ok how do i do that ?Then the casting director Juan says"Think of your BF".
When I went in for a test shot the photographer KK said" Look happy think of your BF!!!"
I was like "CRAP!!!" BF?Non existent at this moment!!!!
But anyway the plot is getting lost.I mean what if it was a bad time in the relationship or the person just broke up or got dumped or something? or that morning the BF or GF was being a bitch?(oh and a guy can also be a bitch, not all but some)
Haih……gripe gripe gripe
Maybe next time they should say think of the ocean or think of puppies.That would be nice.Puppies.Can’t wait for my friend’s shop to bring in puppies.Going to be heaven for me.hehehehe
Maybe I’ll even take pictures and put them up.
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July 21st, 2007 by thewhackedupworld
Man I wonder how long a person can stand without being able to sleep!!!!!! I just can’t fall asleep!!!!!
For the past 2 days I have been functioning with barely 4 hours.This is so not normal for a person who used to just lie down and take a nap wherever just to calm down nervous energy and intensity…..
Now I can’t seem to sit still for one moment…Need to find a good outlet which is productive since i am awake most of the time.
God should be glad now cause he gives me 24 hrs in a day and I am making full use of most of it by staying awake…Yeah Yeah I know some will be saying how many of those do you spend wasting that time?Depends on what you call wasting time.
Oh TV is a no more anymore here.Took ASTRO out cause no one watches anyway.And everything is repeated.Going out?Sick of malls.Study?Been doing that alot sometimes with hopes that I would get bored and fall asleep.(when that does not happen I am screwed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
And Lily is no help she tells me to just close eyes and go to sleep la.Easy for her to say.
Reading seems to be the only thing that I seem to be doing most nowadays.And really American politics is really crappy.What am I saying? Politics everywhere is really crappy.Just how much of the Times, Forbes and Fortune can one read?After awhile everything sounds the same casue the conclusion is the same.
But I think it would be kinda fun to be a diplomat.Wonder what you have to study or do to get that kinda job?
Well for the next month Sharmini is in Paris with her dad.I was looking forward for her going so that i can have some free time and space….Now I miss my Mini Mouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Too much time and no one to entertain….Hope this whole month would pass quick.
Wished this insomnia happened before I took leave from giving tuition.Now I really have too much time and energy and nothing to do!!!!!!!!!!!
any suggestions?Please don’t say gardening.My mom and aunt just suggested that to calm my soul……it seems la…Mummy just wants a clean garden!!!!!!!!!!!!
lets see it is now 2 in the morning.Yesterday I logged off at around this time i think or nearly 3, I think.then went up stairs.Could not sleep….then Suchi comes to my room cause she heard me tossing and turning she came to check on me.Ended up talking for an hour.Slept at 4 something and had to get up at 8 cause had to get to Jalan Gasing PJ for appointment.that lasted till 11.30 and drove to KL for class at 2.And my sadistic college likes to torture their tudents class lasted till 9.15.Only had 1 hr break mind you.Thought I would be tired out to the bone and will be getting some good slep today…Yeah right it’s now 2.15 and I am still here.
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February 2nd, 2007 by thewhackedupworld
Well let’s see Valentine’s day is coming up…..Any suggestion’s on how to spend it? And dinner is out….no more Valentines day dinner…I mean how normal…( ok so someone is sour grapes cause she did not get asked out by someone intresting this time)….Maybe I’ll just ask Lily to join me and do something…But what? Do what?
Too bad I don’t have a class that day to keep me busy….
Anyway this is also to Khanitha who is leaving on that day…The day of love….I am going to miss you.Thanks for being there for me everytime I needed you. You never ask more than i am willing to tell you…As a friend you have been great.
You know what?Maybe i should do something like that chinese tradition…the one where gals throw oranges into the river in hopes of finding their mate…Forgot what’s it called…hahahaha Wonder what my Indian grandma would say….
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October 10th, 2006 by thewhackedupworld
Woi!!!!
Will my ex-friend and my sister(I can’t call her my ex-sister) stop putting up comments on my blog?Not only do they tell the whole world but then they also repeat it to me to my face or over the phone….
So it was a spelling error(Which I admit i did not know was a mistake in the 1st place).Everyone makes mistakes.Let me point one out.
Lil and i went to see our friend Nishant for dinner just now at around 9 something.We were just sitting around and talking about nothing and something(ok in other words crap la). Then lil mentioned that we were going of on a short trip to visit family next month and asked him what he wanted….He said nothing so I said that I’ll bring him a Zippo. Forward a few seconds and my sis starts talking about bringing a ZIPPER back for him.
That’s just my sis.Imagine Prashant…Now that is a walking mistake!!!!!!!!!hahahaha
My whole blog going to be full if i start talking about him.
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October 9th, 2006 by thewhackedupworld
I am cursed technology hates me.I had a problem using the computer then I have a problem with the internet connection.Everytime I went on it won’t connect.But when dad and Lily went on it was fine.Now that was last time.Now the line don’t d/c when I am on and I can actually make use of the PC.(Prashant stop laughing and shut up!!!!!!!!!!) I know when I get to that that’s what you will be doing.
But anyway that was last time.Now you know what?I can’t make e-payments!!!!!!!!! It just does not get thru!!!!!!!!And it is gettting kinda lame and annoying!!!!!!!!!Arrggggggggg when dad and lily does it it’s ok….I mean what the hell what did I do to deserve this?
Oh and just to clearify I did not attempt to put a cd into the usb pod….The dude just does not know sarcasm when he hears it.Expecially after he being the homo sapien who instructed me to do just that, and I just ask which is it…..
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August 11th, 2005 by thewhackedupworld
This I am posting because of my sister.As you people who has actually read her blog it’s full of the model/actor Ashraf Daniel Sinclare.The section 2 of the Star paper did a review on the new movie that he acted in Gol & Gincu.Now i am not that hyped up about this guy but the movie made me think about Futsal.
One thing good about the story line is GURLS PLAYING DA GAME!!!!!!!
Gurls out there who haven’t tried it should!!!! It’s damn fun!!It’s been a long time since I played it but as most gurls want to do somethihng fun to loose weight, build stamina and tone up this is the game for you.Of course in my experience it was exerting.You know unfit ppl.Was panting like a dog after each game.
But it was fun.And one thing for sure I don’t think I would have tried it out if I did not go to Bukit Bintang Boys School.The whole bunch of us gurls had our differences but during game time we still could play because our team had the same goal, to beat the opposition. The most fun person on the team was Stephanie. She never shuts up while playing!! hehe Team sports brings ppl together and somehow when it is played for fun it relaxes us and bonds us.(I guess that’s why guys are more laid back than gurls.)
Because of this I’ll never for et people like Stephanie,Charie Ann,Catherine,Shelby,Karen and Pui San. Now they had what it takes to play.As I remember Karen suprised us by being a real good goal keeper. Oh an of course not forgetting the nice guys of BB who actually taught some of us to kick the ball right. And of course play the game.But like all things after the hype is over I stopped playing.
Bummer cause now I am actually itching to start up again.Hoping my sis would get some motivation after watching the movie and start her own session with her friends.Maybe I can join too.
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July 31st, 2005 by thewhackedupworld
Thanks to someone who managed to screw up my plans for tonight about SMS or Internet dating(that would be you Prashant)Looks this topic will have to be waited upon until i have the mood to actually write about too many SMS-es and the time it takes for one to check date mail.
And to add a further note(to anyone who is or has been wondering what where who how) I would like to state that Nick(Nicky/Nicki/Nico any of this many diff names that I use to refer to him) Is Nickhlesh Ramesh my cousin.BRP 4/3 is where he stays.There were some enquries about this particular human being when he was mentioned in my last blog titled 1515 at BRP4/3.
This is a shout out to Stephanie Rebecca Adrian Patrick.Gurl if you are free give me a call or come visit me.Come see me in college.Easy you got LRT station near your place.Just come to Pasar Seni.CAll me 1st though.If dowan or cannot write to me.!!!!
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July 31st, 2005 by thewhackedupworld
I would like to start off by thanking the ppl(so far only 2 of them) who have commented on my blogs.This is cause it inspired me to vent about something that have been nagging at me for a while.
My good friend Prashant made me recall something that I saw on Oprah a few weeks back(My mom is an Oprah Addict.Everyday without fail she watches the 0900 show and the 1300 show and Oprah Prime Time on Sundays at 2000 on StarWorld) Anyway leave mom alone although sometimes it can be quite irritating when I wanna watch tv at that time.This show is suppose to highlight how woman in their late twenties and early thirties live in different countries. GOD WAS THE MALAYSIAN ONE DISAPPOINTING!!!!!!!!And only the lord knows who choose this particular VJ/MODEL(or rather spokesperson) to represent how a single Malaysian Woman lives in the city!!!! I could say that she did not do any research at all before going on the show.Her presentation lacked substance.Let me recall the stuff she showed Oprah(Which for all the good it did cause i don’t think Oprah got any information out of it that could be of use fullness to her in the future.)
The single woman in Malaysia earns around RM5000 to RM6000 a month(to which she helpfully converted the amount to USD around $1500)With this money she gets to rent an apartment with a pool and other benefits of a hotel (it’s actually a condo) for only RM2000(which she converts to USD again making it sound cheap to Oprah and other viewers around the globe).Then she proceeds to say that the average woman goes in for a massage at least twice a month which only cost us around USD18 a session which would cost around USD80 in the USA.(what BS cause when asked around most are too busy having a life to even fit that into their schedule.)The last but not least on my list of something quite ridiculous is ‘ After all that spending there is still enough CHANGE to buy that must have Jimmy Choo’s shoes.Do you know that Jimmy Choo was origanally from Malaysia?‘
(Ya even so I doubt most Malaysians can even afford them.Which makes me putting a reminder into my head to find out how much they actually cost the next time I go to KLCC)
I was most impress with the women from Mexico.She is a model and actress.Her presentation was not only focused on herself.To her being Picked by Oprah to do the show meant that she was the spokes person for the women of her country.She spoke about Traditions and culture and also about what brings all Mexicans together.One of the things she said that really was an interesting eye opener to me was "Adultary is a culture here in Mexico.It happens everywhere in the rich or poor community.In our countries court they do not accept adultary as a cause of seperation because of that.If a wife divorces her husband on the grounds of adultary she will not get any alimony." So was this information as intresting for you as in was for me? No wonder Oprah invited her to fly from Mexico City to her set in Chicago where the model/actress proceed to teach Oprah and her viewers around the world how to drink tequila(It’s not suppose to be taken in shots.It’s suppose to be drunk like a Congac).Delightful was she?
<PS this blog entry will be further edited after 2 days so that the person in question would not fine out.(Don’t want to get sued!!!!!)
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July 31st, 2005 by thewhackedupworld
So after last nites fiasco where by I could not fall asleep and have not really gotten any sleep cause by the time I fell asleep it was already time to get up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Mom and DAd were yelling for me to take my shower.Had to go and pray at the temple.I was like a zombie.
Thought it was only to temple and back but looks like a long day ahead of me.Cause after the temple dad decided to go to KLCC.How to shop when you are half asleep?Then after that Iwe proceedeed to my current location which at my uncles house where I chased Nicky off to fill in my blog cause I was bored and feeling pretty crappy and wanted to scare a little kid.Tried doing it to Vinay but he laughed!
Now I just wanna go home to catch a few winks but that’s not enough cause i just realised that my sis is not present here.Our friend is in 1 Utama and i have to go fetch her now!!!!!!!!!!!!!When can I sleep i wonder??????????HAih.
SO MAIN TOPIC TONIGHT WILL SMS DATING OR INTERNET DATING ACTUALLY BRING TWO PPL TOGETHER OR NOT? GUYS GOING TO GET SOME SMASHING TONITE AT WHACKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PEACE OUT AT NICKS!!!!
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